Witty Quotes

 
“You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty”
Sacha Guitry
 
“Climate is what you expect, weather is what you get”
Robert A Heinlein
 
“A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree”
Spike Milligan
 
“The technological advance I’m waiting for on my phone is the ‘get to the point’ button”
Alicia Brandt
 
“If you fall out of that window and break both your legs, don’t some running to me.”
Groucho Marx
 
“You know ‘that look’ women get when they want sex? Me neither.”
Steve Martin
 
”Sex between a man and a woman can be a beautiful thing, provided you’re between the right man and the right woman.”
Woody Allen
 
“Most men are secretly still mad at their mothers for throwing out their comic books, which would be very valuable now”
Rita Rudner
 
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run this country are busy driving taxis and cutting hair.”
George Burns
 
“I have wondered many times what the ten commandments would look like if they ran them through congress.”
Ronald Reagan